i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
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