My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize
