your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
She told me I should be a condom model.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
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