Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
