Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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