i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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