the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Bring me that man meat
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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