haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
