VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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