your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
