uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
True strength comes from lack of pants
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
