I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
whose parrot is this?
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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