went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Randomize
