OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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