Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
