I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize