I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Randomize
