i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I still have a little drunk in my system
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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