you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
