If i come over, it means nothing
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Randomize
