You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
How external is "for external use only"?
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
