TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize