Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
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