He is such a slut. More and more my type.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize