Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
