I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
