shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
