My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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