you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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