but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
