i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Sober January is a disaster.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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