Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
