Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
he had hair everywhere except his balls
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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