Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
