do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
