bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
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