I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
My pussy is not your playground.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize