Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
