it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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