Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
