What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
