Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
