butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
