I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
It's just like the Real World with babies
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
