I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
