I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
