the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
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