So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
