Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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