Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
