therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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