Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Randomize
