I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
