what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
