she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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