His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
