P.S. I can't hear my feet
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Randomize
