yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Randomize
